Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She's the barista slut.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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