i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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