But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
