Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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