I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
