Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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