he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
