I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I checked into jail on foursquare
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
