I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
