Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
