Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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