why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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