There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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