I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
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I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
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He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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