I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i think i scared a bird with my dick
this will be a night to untag.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
