I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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