You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
