you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize