Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
