How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize