Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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