I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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