we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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