Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
