I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
