Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
