I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
