no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
