just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
