Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I have tasted many bathrooms
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
