And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
