KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize