Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
