You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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