i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
