im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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