I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
