i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
