This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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