I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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