you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
