I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
