The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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