It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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