I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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