i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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