Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
