I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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