please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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