Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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