I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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