dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
