i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
