i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
