me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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