i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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