I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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