It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
