If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
