Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
