"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
