she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
