Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
