My hair reeks of homosexuality.
is wine microwaveable?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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