Whats the glycemic index on semen?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
