I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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