I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
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I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
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dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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