just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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