Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
