i just wanna soil my oats bro
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
